Dominik's Sermon II

On False Prophets and Idolatry


Let us start with an opening prayer:

In the name of The Dominik, The Uraczak and the Flying Spaghetti Monster, amen. Dominik, loving God, Emperor and all-round awesome Guy, please be merciful and rain blessings down upon our people; for we love You so. In the name of The Dominik, The Uraczak and the Flying Spaghetti Monster, amen.


Your God is a benevolent God, but He is also most uncompromising and vengeful. Alas! False prophets plague even these very forums! Filth claiming 'worship me". I tell you, my humble followers, do not fall to your knees before these demagogues. Strike them down with your anger!!! For you shall worship only Me. And idolatry is discouraged, unless it beeth me thou art idolising.

I will now declare the official Churches Dominik recognises:


NONE

My true followers are not like the hypocrites who proclaim their undying love to Me, for everybody to hear. This forum is the one true Temple of Dominikism and be not sucked into the holy wars of the heathens, but smite them down with furious ANGER!!!


Now, I shall leave you with your thoughts, and these pictures of a fat man in a bikini and a pair of lobsters having a knife fight. Amen.

Canned response:

Very insightful, we'll remember your words for a long time.

Actual response:

I believe my eyes have burned.

niceXD

I will never be the same man after looking at that pic Dominik.