Dominik's Sermon IV

In the name of the Dominik, and of the Uraczak and of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, R'amen.



As I promised, I will specify who you can and cannot rape in the ear while wearing a batman suit and cowboy boots.

CAN
Scorpius


CAN NOT
Everybody (seriously- that's sick, why would you think of doing that to someone..... Guest?)


Anyway, the purpose of today's Sermon is an important Revelation. I have come to announce that Citizen B..... is actually a chick dressed up in an army uniform and lots of make-up..... now, don't panic. I know this is a shock, I know you're all thinking "What? A woman can't be party president!", but I suggest you don't worry about it and let your God take care of it. Uraczak will be assuming the presidency, so you can all just calm down and sleep well tonight..... provided you lock your front door, hide your pets and keep a shotgun under your pillow.

Now, onto more pressing matters; Ayeshan Dakseus, I am proud to announce, is pregnant! Yes, yes, yes a joyous occasion, but since the baby is outside of wedlock we will have to brutally murder it, unfortunately. The father, of course, was Jefflav who- in frustration over the election- decided to violate Ayeshan in his sleep.

I think I should take this opportunity to remind all My followers that sex before marriage is strictly prohibted unless you are
a) wearing a condom AND a party hat
b) are really horny
or c) are raping somebody out of spite (NOTE: if you are merely raping somebody out of frustration it is a sin unless you meet criterion b)

If you sin, feel free to confess them to Me in a PM.... I will then pick all the best sins and make a collage viewable to all of the Temple visitors.

and a closing prayer (I was too lazy to come up with one so I just stole one from Christianity)

In the name of the Dominik, and of the Uraczak and of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, R'amen. Our Dominik, who art in FSM heaven, hallowed be thy Name, thy Kingdom come, thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day, our daily bottles of Scotch and forgive us that time I hit a midget with My car and just kept driving as we forgive those who hit different midgets with cars and just keep driving. In the name of the Dominik, and of the Uraczak and of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, R'amen.


As a bonus; here is a picture of Scorpius I found on the internetz.

The line about hitting midgets reminded me of Dr. Tran.

Also, stop uncensoring Guest, it's annoying.

Oh yes, R'amen.

How am I not surprised by that picture of scorp? :/

damnit i thought i hid that pic

I see my name... But I don't know if you put my name up, or it's that damn code where everyone who sees it, sees their name.

If it is my name, then I will rebuttal, and be back to comment

In the name of The Dominik, the Urac... WAITA SECOND...

i see my name, so does ayeshan, or is it a code

It's the code.... The only way to tell if it's the code or your actual name is to hit the quote button on their post and see if says your name, or if it has the code in.

This is what nightmares are made of.

lol
wonderful Dominik